i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
