I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
