you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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