He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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