"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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