They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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