Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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