so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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