I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
