Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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