i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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