It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
