Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
