I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
