I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
