the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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