she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
