i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
