Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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