after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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