What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
