I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
