she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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