how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
