How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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