it was like eating out sand paper
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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