$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize