Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
