Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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