You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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