I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
