Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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