I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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