I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
