Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
