Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I party with great urgency now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
