Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am mentally ready for anal.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
