he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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