I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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