I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
