Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
