How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
