Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
