As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
