I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
