well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
