I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
