just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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