I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
