I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
