just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
