Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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