it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
