why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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