All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
