I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
