Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
