What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
