i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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