do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
