we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
