I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
