it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
