I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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