i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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