I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
