my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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