So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize