No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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