omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
