This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
