Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
